Limitations
Part of the growing up experience is stretching yourself. In doing so one, hopefully, learns what their limitations are; whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual. Sometimes those limits are never learned, or worse, known but ignored.
Last week I stretched myself a little too far. I spent most of that very hot day welding in the sun. It was on a project that I wanted to finish and, even though I knew I was tapping out, I still pressed on to the end. That night I was exhausted. I couldn’t sleep, I lost concentration where I couldn’t write or even read. I’ve done that many times before and still haven’t learned to stop. I’m still working on that one.
These past few days Travis has had the rubble crew building roads for the town of Leogane. The roads off of pavement are atrocious, full of potholes and have low spots that hold water in the rainy season. Our job was to excavate creek gravel from the river bottom and haul it to the road sites and spread the material with the dozer. I was assigned to loading detail at the river. After a day or two Travis was interested in ‘getting me on the dozer’ in order to become acquainted with it. I talked to Francois about his working location and discovered that the road is narrow, as narrow as the dozer blade in spots. There were a lot of people around and always traffic, whether it be wheeled or hoofed. I talked to Travis the next morning and urged him to let me stay in the river and I would work the dozer in an environment that was a little safer for me and those around. I’m looking forward to working on the dozer, but it is big with wide tracks. I know my learning curve will be short on it, but I also know that toodling around in a 25 ton monster that I’m unacquainted with needs to happen in a big field with nobody around, at least for a day or two.
Tonight at dinner we were shown a film on first aid. I had a premonition as to where it would lead, and I was right. Mid way through the film a section on massive trauma injury first aid popped up. It was a section where a live pig under sedation was ‘experimented’ on in order to find the best way to stop massive arterial bleeding. Needless to say when it began, I left. I know I have a weak stomach in these matters and am positive I would have ended up on the floor surrounded by my dinner. I don’t feel apologetic about leaving, I simply am positive of my limitations in this area …. And they will not change.
It is essential as we go through life to know what we can and cannot do. Sometimes we are still learning; sometimes we know but refuse to listen to ourselves. Other times we definitely know what our reactions will be to certain stimuli, and we act accordingly, like leave. If we don’t act appropriately then we pay the price, like passing out.
The same is true for our Christian walk. As we grow in the Lord we discover what our actions and reactions should be to life’s dilemmas. If we follow the pricking in our hearts done by the Spirit of God then we usually end up with a good response to a problem and a small growth spurt in our relation to Him and others. If we ignore that still, small voice then we can cause consternation among our family and friends and, as experience seems to dictate, will probably get experience the same issue again so we’ll have an opportunity to ‘get it right’.
As for today, I’m glad I knew my limitations on driving a dozer. I’m sure somebody’s house is thankful, too.
Hmmm...the jury's still out on this one Dad. I understand that it's good to know our limitations in certain areas (such as the first aid video and your inability to see blood without passing out). I also understand and agree that it was a good decision not to work a new dozer within a limited space. That could definitely have been treacherous.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think that God, knowing our human limitations, places us areas where He can help us stretch those limits and grow. I remember when I was first interviewing for a job with Goodwill. I was driving to the interview and heard a thrilling sermon on the radio. The pastor talked about when Samuel first annointed David. Samuel went through all of Jesse's sons. God had the "creme de la creme" to choose from, but did not select the strongest, the most handsome, or even the most knowledgeable. Instead God chose David because of his heart. The pastor went on to say that God looks for people not with the ability to do great work, but He looks for people who are available. God may stretch our physical, mental, emotional limits, but He does so because we are available to Him and he knows what He's doing.
I think that God widened yours limitations when He opened the door to Haiti. You did have experience in the field, most definitely, but when you got there you felt a little out of place. God sent you there not because of your abilities, but because you opened your heart for Him to work through you....you made yourself available to do His work.
I like that you finished with a lesson/revelation from your observation. I especially like that it talks about how the Holy Spirit can affect our hearts but sometimes we don't "listen" to the pricking. Even though we close our ears to His voice we always get the "second chance" to clean out our ears. I like that God is always directing our lives. It's a peaceful thought.
so i still think you should have given the dozer a chance...THEN if you felt it was still a limitation suggest another time.
ReplyDeletei used to challenge my team by asking them to do something that i knew would be out of their comfort zone (ie...driving a fork lift...)just to see if they would attempt it. then. if they didn't feel comfortable i'd allow them to do another task. i was always curious to see if they were "willing" to grow and try new things. would they accept the challenge? if they still didn't feel comfortable after taking on the challenge, i never looked down on them. instead, i praised them for trying and admired their willingness to try. :D
they always knew that i would support them in any case and that they wouldn't "get in trouble" for saying they were uncomfortable.
love yas.
ps. i agree w/ kimmie :D well said! ooh and i think you have found your nitch down there...you have a cunning sense of creativity when you need to fix an item. sounds like you definately fit in!
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