Beep Beep

Beep Beep

Part of the experience in taking a ride in Haiti is experiencing the horn.  As one might expect when there are five tiers of traffic on two lanes it can create somewhat of a congested air.  The horn is the Haitian remedy to reduce the tension of various modes of transport one inch from every fender, bumper and light affixed to your vehicle. 

There are many types of horns used in Haitian traffic to let you know just what is driving up your tailpipe.  The high shrill in E flat is usually the motorbike.  They generally carry one or two riders that weave in and out of those minute spaces between your right front fender and the left tail light that is hanging from the fuel truck in front and to the right of you.  They aren’t being rude, just letting you know that, from their perspective, they will fit.  If the horn is an octave higher is a high probability that the motorbike has four or, perhaps, five passengers including a dog.  The dog usually accounts for the higher octave

More often than the E flat is the deep resonance bass of the truck horn. The lower the note, the larger the vehicle.  That big fuel tanker with the hanging rear tail light and motorbike mirror on the mud flap has the frequency of an electric cello two notes below the bottom key on the piano.  Its volume, though, is that of an ocean liner slicing through thick fog.  When it has maximum resonance from the peak of the  Doppler effect, it is best to move over and let him by because, again generally speaking, they don’t have very good brakes in proportion to their speed.

The anemic beep like a Toyota horn is usually …. A Toyota.  Mass transit down here is done by an assortment of vehicles called Tap Taps.  In one case they are extended Toyota trucks from the seventies that have seats in the truck bed with a covering of tin for weather protection.  I’ve seen around 12 or more people crammed in the back of these things.  When you want on you wave it down.  When you want off you tap tap the side and the driver pulls off.  You hand him 40 Gord, about a buck, and he’s off and running again.  Their colorful trucks weave in and out of traffic like a drunken sailor.  They honk to start, honk to stop, honk to turn, honk to pass, honk to be passed.  I think the brake is wired to the horn but I’ve haven’t verified this as of this writing.

The Haitians are quite at peace with their horns.  While riding back from Port au Prince last week at sunset it was quite peaceful to be lulled to a quick nap by the assortment of horn blasts, perfectly tuned pitches and rising and lowering volumes … like listening to the Moonlight Sonata.

Haitians also use the horns as notices that they are coming.  On less traveled roads they honk simply to say hello, whether or not they know you is irrelevant.  When they pass at 100 kph it is nice to know who it was that passed you, whether or not you knew them is irrelevant.  They especially like to sound the tooter going around bends.  Of course you can see them coming but they want you to know that they are coming so they honk … I’ve decided this is for your benefit so you can wave as they honk again going by.  As mentioned, knowing who it is, is irrelevant.  They are also very polite to honk as they tailgate you so you know not to brake too hard so as to have them crinkle your bumper.  As we learned, body work is quite cheap here, but they don’t want the inconvenience of having to go to the shop. 

I’ve also found that the louder the horn, the more determined the driver is to be in front of you.  A friendly pass on the right or left, it really doesn’t matter which side to them, will include the steady laying on of horns to facilitate a safe passage, or you to move over, and also does dual purpose to let the motorbike without the side mirror coming the other way move onto the shoulder, which, by the way is not there, because there are too many trees, bushes, houses or donkeys in the way.  But it all works out quite well as the motorbikes are usually quite maneuverable and can dodge most obstacles. 

So, as a rule of thumb, the louder, deeper and longer a horn is the more wise it is to move over, left or right whichever the case may be, or wherever an opening is, and let the vehicle by.  After all, being a courteous driver is important in mission work.

I have, though, found one exception the rule of horns.  I call it the dozer corollary.  The rubble team relocated the Dozer to a jobsite the other week.  With a 13 foot blade it tends to hang out over the edges of the trailer.  Although the horn rule still seems to apply, it does have its limitations when there is no road to move over on or no way to back up, which the loaded truck tends to do.  So, in this case, the tractor truck hauling an oversized load down the road at a fairly quick clip tends to trump the horn rule regardless of the pitch, octave or volume.  Not always, but usually.

I did find one exception to this corollary.  As we unloaded the D-6 dozer on site I noticed another tractor truck approaching from the opposite side.  It has an enormous low boy trailer with a CAT D-9 on it.  This dozer made ours look pretty puny.  I have to say he didn’t slow down and he didn’t honk.  He owned the road and he knew.  I watched motorcycles head for the ditches, tap taps careened into anything resembling a turnoff, busses and trucks hugged the non-existent shoulders and made room where there was no room, donkeys ran for cover and walkers stepped aside as the behemoth roared down the road in a flurry of tree limbs, electric lines and festival banners that had been hung too low.  It was a beautiful sight.  The ace of trump played in a hand of pinochle. The final touchdown in a game.   The real king of the road.  And we were witness to it.